Growing up where you're family is extremely Puerto Rican but you look extremely white is and still is somewhat of a struggle for me. I never got bullied for it in school, but when people didn't believe in my ethnicity, I really felt like a disgrace to my family's motherland. I used to always get upset when nobody believed I was latina and one day I blew up. Although I did it when I was younger, I regret it because that's the day I gave in and showed everyone that I did care about their bullshit words.
It never helped when my family always said I looked like a white girl from the start. And when I stopped listening to spanish and pop/rap/hip hop songs and started getting into alternative music..they seriously thought I was becoming whiter and whiter by the week. But FUCK IT! I love my alternative and sometimes screamo bands..that's just who I am. When I was in 6th grade, I went on my MySpace account and went on the "Tag Me" app and found this guy whose name in the description was "TheWhitestPuertoRicanYouKnow", which made me feel like I wasn't the only one in the world who discovered they were lighter than the average hispanic person. He made me feel so comfortable and we've been friends ever since. In high school, girls were in love with my brother because he looked like he jumped straight off the boat with his medium dark skin and this 1 girl said I have to be adopted because there is no way we are related. I disliked her for that, but I never gave her any shit for it because I didn't care much. I know I'm not adopted so she just looked like an idiot saying that to me.
My aunt is albino, so you can imagine how white she is, but that never got in the way because she can actually speak spanish. I wish I could speak spanish, but my parents never taught me and I don't have the attention span to learn anymore. I still love listening to my Spanish music and move my hips like a Puerto Rican and now that I'm older and realized that I am the only one that knows what I am and that should be enough. I shouldn't have to prove anything to anybody. I am so proud to say I am Puerto Rican and if anybody has a problem with my white skin, they can piss off because I don't care anymore.
After all, I didn't chose to have such light skin..it's the color God chose from the palette when he created me. And to answer future questions... No I do NOT believe in fake tan.. because that is well FAKE and no I cannot tan in the sun for too long because my mom has Lupus and I can possibly get it from the suns radiation. I still tan but not till I get 4 shades darker, just for like 45 minutes front and back at most. My baby brother looks even whiter than I do, so if he ever gets picked on from it I'll know exactly what to tell him and help him get through and to just embrace it.
My skin color doesn't define me, so don't judge me by it. I am so proud of where my family comes from and if you believe it or not I will never deny it. I just want to say to everyone.. don't be embarrassed by where you come from and most importantly, don't listen to other people's bullshit. You know who you are and that's all that matters. <3
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