In War With My Lady Parts...

Hello all,

I have disappeared yet again! Who would've guessed! *insert sarcasm* I actually have a decent reason why I've been M.I.A. It's not really one I would've seen coming, but when I finally realized what it was, it scared me.

My birth control pill has been giving me the absolute worst side effects and I thought it was just me being stressed. Yeah I'm sure stress adds a great deal to my anxiety, but some side effects cannot be justified by stress. I've been getting random fevers, tight chest, nervous tummy (not going into detail), excessive nausea, horrible cramps, dizziness, more frequent migraines and the list goes on. I would have never guessed that my birth control pill has caused me so much pain for months because it's something that you mindlessly take. It's a part of my daily routine and it's also something that's supposed to benefit my life. Not distress it. The only good thing about it was that I literally did not get my period or period cramps in around 2 months. Which as you can imagine, once I realized my birth control pill was doing more harm than good, I had to question its true intentions.

Upon feeling like death at work, I had to take drastic changes and that meant stopping the pill I'm currently on (Junel 1/20) and get new pills. If you're a girl you know getting an appointment for OBGYN is damn near impossible. With all my side effects I only stressed even more when I was told the next appointment available would be for October... OCTOBER! My mother explained to the nurses how extreme pain I was in and it is an emergency situation. So they gave a little and said August 2nd. I am so grateful for an earlier date, but these days off this pill have been no walk in the park. As this is the week I would normally get my period.

Man has that kicked into high gear. My period cramps are in full effect. Like I'm talking feetle position all day, no movement unless it was to use the bathroom. I must admit, that my stomach pain has gone down and I feel like I'm getting back to my old self. Can't say the same for my ovaries..

I just wanted to let everyone know the backstory because while on this dangerous journey I have been fighting with motivation. As much as I want to make progress with my life and do productive things and have REAL fun, it's been a constant battle with my head. I'll pick up my laptop wanting to write or edit videos I recorded months ago, then 5 minutes later I'll lose all hope and think "What's the point?" While being off the pill, that whole mindset has been changing slowly and I could cry at how much my cloudy head is starting to see the sunlight.

This specific pill has put my life on hold and although I'm still in an incredible amount of pain, I'm happy that my motivation is slowly but surely coming back to me. I will be finishing editing my vlog from when I flew to Virginia to see my family and will be posting that hopefully tomorrow after work!

Thanks for sticking around!