Never Doubt Yourself

Today I had to go to my schools campus to finish my registration for my classes. When we got to the school it immediately felt familiar, then I realized I was there before. In 9th grade I went there for an art festival to showcase my artwork. Walking down those same halls made me feel somewhat at home.

When we got to one of the buildings, the lady said today I have to take my placement test to sign up for orientation and what not. Anxiety ran through my body and I felt like breaking down. I didn't even have a pencil, a calculator and on top of that.. I forgot how to even write my own name. I felt so nervous and completely unprepared. My parents reassured me that everything was going to be okay, all I had to do was just relax and focus. So we get lost, but once we found our way, my nerves got the best of me. I couldn't get my locker they assigned for testing open. There were other students in the hall and I could feel their eyes on me. I kept jiggling the key in and nothing. As I felt my face heat up, I looked towards my mom in embarrassment to help me. Great.. my first encounter with college kids and I already ran to my mom for help...not a good first impression.

Anyway, once I started my test I felt at-ease. It was an online test that required no handwriting and the calculator was provided online. So I was pretty much set. The first part was an hour long essay, which I'm pretty sure I did well on. Although I haven't written, writing often on my blog helped out a lot in the thinking process. The other parts were a blur and the math I hardly remember anything from it, but I'm glad I got it over with.

Meanwhile, my phones on 1% battery during the entire test and knowing the condition my phone was in I was scared it'd die and I couldn't call my parents to come pick me up. Surprisingly it lasted enough for me to call them, call my bf and text 4 people. While I was waiting, I looked around at college life, it felt like I was an observer in a jungle watching the animals on their daily routine. It was weird, it felt like high school.. but a lot more lifeless. It was very scary and intimidating really. Once they came, I felt a sigh of relief because it was people I actually knew. I hope my first day in college is a good one. I'm really not good with situations like these so I need all the luck I can get.

On the ride home, my mom looked at me from the passenger seat and said, "Amber, I just want to say one thing. Never back down from anything. Never believe that you can't do something. You sell yourself short and you think that sometimes you can't do things, but you really can. You're so much stronger than that. Never loose yourself and just be you." I have to admit, I was a tad thrown off because I didn't really know what she was talking about but once she explained, my confidence shot up. I realized that sometimes I really do sell myself short, and so does my boyfriend sometimes. Everyone has those doubts in their life, but you have control over your own actions. Don't fake being you, be real and true to yourself because you are smarter than you actually think you are.