Stay Cool, Calm and Collected..

Lately with disagreements in my life, I've been trying to just stop and breathe and walk away from the situation to have time to think it over. Do you know how absolutely hard it is to just bite your tongue and walk away? Still with plenty of words and angry thoughts that you just wanted to light on fire and throw deep in the woods so it can burn it's entire surroundings. I've been doing it my whole life though...where I just keep it locked in a safe in my heart. 

I'll say "ok." or "I'll talk to you later" so I don't have to say something I'll later regret. But lately, I've been feeling like everything is just crumbling down on me and I feel just trapped. It's such an exhausting feeling. Like no matter how much I try to be a good sister, daughter or girlfriend I feel like nothing I ever do is ever good enough. Usually I can write every detail that I am feeling in my blog, but since a lot more people that I know read it.. I feel like I can no longer have an outlet to express my genuine thoughts. So I have to settle for recording them all down in my journal, which isn't too bad. 

I'm honestly at the point where I feel like giving up on everything and just move somewhere to meet new people.. or something. Like I feel to young to be this stressed out. I love everyone and everything in my life...but seriously when I feel like this I don't know what else to do. My best friend didn't even text me back today when I wanted to talk to her about how I felt and like I just don't know where to turn.. I feel lost and confused and I just need a hug. 

Do you ever get that? Where you literally don't know what to think and you just want to do something that makes you happy? Like a "pick-me-up" to just make you forget that your problems even exist? Yeah I haven't found that yet so right now I'm just feeling bleh and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to stay collected but it's so hard when you feel like all the pieces to the puzzle are scattered everywhere. It all feels like a bad dream that you cannot wake up from. I just want to be happy and right now I feel so frustrated and emotionally wrecked...