Loosing Self-Confidence

Hello everyone! Whether you've know me my whole life or read about it in my blog, here's the gist of it...I'm never fully happy. There's always something that's going on in my head that doesn't allow me to be happy. It's almost like it knows it's too good to be true.

When I was nearing the end of middle school going into high school I had horrible acne. I tried to make myself invisible so no one could see my terrible flaws. If that wasn't enough, I was going through the phase of not being satisfied with my growing body as a women. You could say puberty wasn't all that fair to me. Meaning my boobs weren't the biggest and my ass wasn't the nicest...I literally felt like a boy because those were things that defined femininity for a women. Sure there might be your style and makeup..but if you don't feel pretty with those things you're still going to feel like crap.

As I got a little older, my boobs grew a little and my ass grew a lot, I mean I inherited my grandma's fat booty so I guess that's okay haha. Anywaaayy, once I got on birth control maybe 9 months ago, my boobs began to fill up more and I was actually satisfied with them while wearing an extremely padded bra. I felt like a woman and I felt beautiful. Of course that confidence shot down right after I have been off the pill for a while and lost weight due to poor eating habits. Now my bra barely fits me and I feel like I'm drowning in it. I realize how ridiculous it feels to wear an extremely padded bra with nothing to show for it underneath. My boobs are back to 12 year old obese boy and I couldn't be more depressed about it. I mean I'm not flat, but I feel like actually having a cleavage is what will make me more confident in myself lol. No matter how many times I tell myself "size doesn't matter, love your body" I can't seem to convince myself.

Lately, I have been thinking about saving up for future plastic surgery, but I know I could never do that to myself. It's too much money and pain for me to endure. So I have been looking at alternatives such as taking supplements to naturally increase the size. It's risk free and money-back guarantee so there is literally no harm in trying. I want to talk to my mom about taking them because I am truly unhappy with my body, so I hope I get to experience it. Of course if I do decide to try it, I will be sure to make a post of it.

My point of the story is, if there's something about yourself that you don't like and want to change..consider all your options and figure out if it would really make you that much more happier. If you think yes then go for it, do whatever it takes to achieve maximum happiness. But if you think no you don't think you'll be happier, then figure out ways you can love your body and move on happily.