Futures

I know a lot of people sweat the small stuff when they're in school whether it'd be high school or college, because they want to make sure everything is just perfect to pass and be as successful as humanely possible. But I'm here to let everyone know it's okay to not have it all figured out. Especially being a senior in high school and feeling the pressure to get into a good college and basically choosing what you want to do for the rest of your life at 17 or 18.

Confession time.. my SAT scores sucked major buns and I honestly didn't care. I knew I was going to community college anyway so it didn't really matter to me. Then when I got into college, I just hated everything about it. I wanted to quit and just do something else with my life..or do nothing at all. It didn't help that I was going through a lot emotionally then as well. Then when everything came crashing down for the spring semester, I broke down to my mom and said I can't do this college thing anymore. I hate my teachers, I hate coming here, I hate everything about college. It's too much pressure and I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life. Plus my suck-ass college messed up my payment and cancelled all my classes..so it really was a lot of stress and not enough time to deal with it. I talked with her and ultimately, she let me take the spring semester off to think about what I really wanted to study and just try to find myself and my passion a little more. And honestly, it probably was the best and worst thing for me.

Since I didn't have classes, I worked like every single day and was barely home. Late at night when I had time to just relax and think about my future I came up with a solution. Which was to study a field that was promised good income and go from there. Even though it's really hard and complex, let's try it. I'll make money first then have money to do what I really want. It seemed like such a good idea and everyone was kind of supporting me because they have seen the results of being successful in this field I chose. But I always felt like I wasn't being true to myself and that I was studying this field to make other people happy and proud. Totally disregarding my inner most feelings.

So after taking my semester off, I transferred to a different community college and I absolutely love it here. Everyone is so goal orientated and helpful, it just gives you motivation to want to learn and be successful. Anyway, I'm in my spring semester now, but my first semester and this semester haven't been easy at all. If you're itching to find out what my current major is...it's Computer Science..yuck I know. My teacher is nice and cool, but the material is just a snooze. It's complex and just boring to sum it up. I was thinking about dropping my computer class for this semester just because I was really behind and didn't know what I was doing at all. But I realized I'm not quitter and am currently finishing this semester FOR MYSELF. Because I wanted to feel determined and accomplished at a difficult task that almost made me give up. Then I realized how awesome of a feeling it is to start doing things to MAKE MYSELF HAPPY.

As previously mentioned.. this particular area of study doesn't define AMBER. It doesn't make me happy because I have no passion for it. Nothing about it makes me happy at all. So I'm going against the odds and everyone's initial judgement and perusing something that really makes me happy. Which is business so one day I can open up my own store. Thinking back to a few years ago, I also wanted to join the Peace Corps just so I can help other countries and people of poorer places in need providing all the basic necessities to survive. But sadly, I have too much family and in a committed relationship that I can't stand being away from. So I thought an alternative way is to own my own business and some of the profit I gain from it will go to my own charity to help provide those things to people in need,

...bet you I wouldn't have thought of that if I didn't take time to realize what my true passions are. What I was happy doing and not doing something that made someone else content. It's not their life, it's mine. I chose whether I succeed or fail, not anyone else who thinks they know what I want to do with my gift of being brought to this earth. So always remember that! This is your life, take charge and pursue what you want to do..because this life is too short to live an unhappy life.