Life of an Over-Thinker

Do you ever catch yourself staring at something or someone just picturing how your future would be together or just about I don't know, life in general. That happens to me on the reg..like I stare at an orange leaf and that leaf will remind me of change because it was once green. Then I think about things or people that have changed in my life and how I wish they never changed. Then I start to think of ways I could have maybe changed it. I literally think about bullshit a lot and half of the time I can't even control it. Yeah that's the life of an over-thinker.

My minds constantly thinking. But it's never convenient for me though in things that actually matter. Like school. Oh my gosh with school it's like I go to take a test and all I remember is fine dining and breathing *let me know if you get the reference there kids*. I go to class and I think so much about other things that I feel it so hard to pay attention. Some days I do really feel myself focused on school and whatever we're learning...most of the time I have no idea what's going on and why finding a function of a fraction is relevant to real life. But once I step outside every thought hits me all at once. I think about work and my car and things I need to get done and different scenarios if I didn't do something that right way. It's really weird and it gives me migraines a lot of the time. But that's who I am.

My boyfriend doesn't believe how forgetful I am sometimes..but when you have a constant moving brain that thinks about every little thing..it's kind of hard to remember the things that actually need to be remembered. I really hope I'm making sense here because I feel like I sound stupid. Don't get me wrong I do remember to do important things, I'm not oblivious to everything. But when I do need to remember something I need to write it down about 10 times or something. Like you need to see my calendar.. on my phone and in my room. Yeah it's that bad that I need to have 2 haha oh gosh I suck. Anyway, I do forget a lot because I just have so many things going on in my mind. Worrying comes hand in hand with over-thinking though.

When you over-think every possible scenario in your life, you start to worry if those scenarios are going to work out or not... wait how is this not an actual mental disability...

That's why I like to listen to music. As weird as my life is and as that may sound.. listening to music pulls me into the song so I just focus on 1 thing at a time. That's also why when I study for school, most of the time I need to have headphones in and music playing. The music takes all the chaos and worries I may have from over-thinking out of my head and I can do whatever I need to do. Most of the time it doesn't matter what genre the song is, I'll work with it..unless it's my jam..then I need to take a minute and dance to it.

I overthink about my life and the people in my life, lives. It might not seem like I'm thinking about so much and that's part of the reason why I'm choose to be "quiet" in my life. That's also why I'm stressed the fuck out most of my life. Haha seriously though..this has to be a legit mental illness..nah? Okay then. But I do over-think everyday of my life and it sucks, but it's who I am and I can't change that. I hope my fellow over-thinkers agree with me and know what I go through on a daily basis, so I know I'm not the only one. Not only that. but I want to make sure you know how special and talented you are because you have that brain capacity and imagination to think the way you and I do!