Back At It.. ugh

I don't really know what it is..stress, my obsession with chocolate or am I just cursed for life? My dermatologist claims it's genetics. I'm talking about cystic acne.

As some of you might know, I went on this roller coaster ride once before with Accutane and it was such a rough beginning, but the end result was so worth it. My skin was flawless and I had so much self confidence, I really didn't know what to do with it.

Except, a few months passed by and voila! My acne is back at it. At first I didn't really mind the bumps and lumps because I was kind of used to it. But it began to become those sores that are like under the skin and it spread. I think I was kind of in denial that I had acne again, because I waited to go back to the dermatologist until it got so bad I couldn't even wash my face without it hurting so bad. The only thing that ever worked for my skin was Accutane. My doctor explained to me that sometimes it takes 2 cycles for this medication to completely get rid of everything, so I am praying to the flawless face gods that they pull through for me this time around.

I haven't really been enjoying putting makeup on again because I feel it is more important for my skin to breathe, but some days I don't really have a choice as my job requires everyone to wear makeup and I have been working a lot. It's embarrassing when customers look at me and inspect my face and all it's imperfections when I'm basically supposed to have a flawless face. But the thing that has helped me out the most is looking at my managers eyebrows that smudge when she touches her forehead and then I feel better about life for the moment. HAH okay I'm mean, but it's not like I make fun of her or anything. It's just kind of like an inside joke with myself. You're judging me..stop.

Anyway, I just finished a week and a few days of Accutane and I'm now at that lovely stage where the medication is pulling all the nasties out so my face has been looking very bumpy and the white heads have been coming out to say hello. So yay another embarrassing factor on my face! But whatcha gonna do? It'll get better soon and everything will be fine. I notice that most of it is being pushed out near my mouth and chin and that's the area that people look at the most. It's intensely itchy and unbearable right now as we speak.. type? Read? Anywho..

I'm very excited to be back on Accutane so I can gain my confidence and happiness back that I so desperately crave. I'm on another 5 months of it and I will be posting updates on my Youtube channel as well! So stay tuned for that! I will post the link on here (my blog) once I post it up!

*More to come as well is my skin care routine while on Accutane!*